Autumn Madness
by Spoot Poot
Summary: Well, like it says, this is a fic inspired by the lovely blufirewing. Go check her out! NOW! The boys all end up the butt of a revenge plot due to Wufei's madness.


Spoot: Thanks to blufirewing for the Green light on this project.

Duo: I'm gunna hate this…aren't I…

Spoot: Yes…yes you are.

Autumn Madness

The job was just about done when he looked toward the Mansion front door. How he almost hated every single one of those boys. "Injustice." He mumbled to himself as he watched a leaf fall from the tree. "MOCK ME WILL YOU!" He snapped as he raked it up as fast as it landed. Heero had run off, chasing after that damn Maxwell, Trowa and the Blond went inside to do god knows what, and there was Wufei, all alone to clean the yard. He raked up the last remaining leaves and wiped his brow. A thought occurred to him at that moment. An evil, vile thought that could only be cooked up by the most demented of minds. Wufei smiled proudly to himself. His mind was just that demented.

Duo returned not long after Wufei retreated into the tool shed for demonic supplies. He marched right up to the door and, after realizing it was locked, banged hard on the wood he found there. Trowa opened the door clad only in a sheet. Duo looked him over with a smile. "Are you naked under there?" Without a response, Trowa latched on to the boy and drug him in the house. "Will you keep quiet? I don't want to wake Quatre." Trowa looked left to right then crooked his head to the side. "Where's Heero?"

"I lost him back at the lake. He's not as fast as he claims to be, I'm like a super fast stealth NINJA!" Duo declared as he took on a slightly goofy martial arts stance. One he had in fact learned from Wufei. Trowa quickly subdued him with an elbow to the gut, dropping the poor moron. "What did I tell you about noise! Silence is golden idiot!" Duo looked up at the other boy from his place on the floor. He whimpered a bit as he clutched his gut. "That should teach you. Don't be such a baby!" Trowa went to leave the room, but Duo had another plan for him as revenge. He latched on to the sheet, and yanked. There in the kitchen stood a full blown naked Trowa. Ashamed, he covered himself and scurried from the room. Duo laughed despite the pain in his abdomen.

Duo sat up, feeling eyes on him as he slept. He scanned the dark room with groggy eyes. He found nothing, so he laid down and covered his face with a pillow. As hard as he tried, he couldn't shake the feeling he was being watched. Someone was in his room and it was starting to get to him. "Go away!" He mumbled. When he got no response, he sat up once more. His eyes widened when he heard the sounds of a motor being cracked. He opened his mouth at the right moment. A gust of wind blew him back off his bed and crashed him into a wall. Wufei let the leaf blower work its mojo for a little while longer then he stopped his assault and blew on the barrel of the blower like a gun when you finish shooting. Mission accomplished. One down.

Heero opened his bedroom door, took one step in, and…

THWACK!

The rake fell back as Heero covered his damaged face. "WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK!" He snapped, reaching down and tossing the tool aside. He removed his hand from his face and spotted blood. "My god, I'm a tomato…" He mumbled to himself. He took another step forward and once again got hit in the face. "THAT'S IT!" He cried as he flipped on the light. His eyes went wide at the horror. His floor was covered in garden tools and Rat traps. The traps were all set to snap if he even attempted to move forward. The tools were all facing upward. If he stepped on one, it would surly give him the brain damage. "Who did this!" He snapped. "Why…would anyone do such a thing…" He turned to face the door when he unfortunately lost his balance and toppled backwards. He landed hard on the rake, and it jabbed him right in the backside. He tried to crawl away when he triggered a trap…thus triggering all of them. All he could do was wail and cry. Wufei stood by the mouth of Heero's door, with a smug smile on his face. "Perfect solder indeed…" He said coyly as he pushed away from the wall, and walked away.

Trowa stepped in the kitchen, and almost laughed. There at the table sat two very dismantled boys. Duo had his head down on the table, his hair sticking up…all of it. Heero was trying to remove a Rat trap from his ear. "Is everything ok?" he asked slowly. This morning was looking more and more interesting. Duo lifted his head; his skin was white as a ghost. "I...no matter what I do…It won't go down…I can't get it to go down…it won't…" He trailed off in babble. Heero succeeded in removing the trap with a snap. Trowa cringed at Heero's cry of pain. Trowa sat down, noticed Quatre, and smiled. "Didn't see you there." He said as sweetly as he could. "You wouldn't would you." Quatre grumbled. He wasn't really a morning person.

Wufei entered the kitchen, eyeing every victim. In his hands, two plates filled with delectable food. He inched his way over to the table, and leaned down. "Good morning." He hissed in Trowa's ear. This made the boy jump a bit, but nothing more. "I took it upon myself to make the two of you breakfast…I do hope you enjoy it." He placed the plates in front of the blond and his partner. Heero watched in suspect but kept his thoughts to himself. "Thank you Wufei.' Quatre said sweetly, taking up a fork. Wufei looked over at Duo. "Would you like me to make you breakfast?" He asked ominously. Duo looked up at him. "I would rather shit in my hand and clap…" Was his response. "DUO! That was rude…why would you say something like that!" Trowa snapped. Duo was about to answer when Quatre sputtered and hacked. Trowa looked his way.

"What's in this!" Snapped the blond. Wufei just smiled that evil grin. Trowa took a fork full, bit, chewed for a moment, then spit it out. "Tastes like…like dirt…or…"

"Leaves." Wufei said softly. The other two looked up at him in shock. "You put leaves in our food?" Trowa snapped.

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!" Snapped Quatre.

"Why would he blast me outta bed with a leaf blower at two in the morning…" Duo mumbled. Heero looked up at him from trying to remove a trap from his fanny. "Did you do this to me?" he asked. His tone dripping with innocents. Wufei nodded solemnly. "WHY!" Everyone yelled in unison. Wufei just smiled and turned to walk away. Before he exited the room completely, he turned his head to look over his shoulder. "Don't drink the Tea, don't sit on the sofa, and don't go into the north end bathroom." With that, he took his leave.

Spoot: Lets all do good to remember to help out!

Wufei: This was like the Little Red Hen…except…scary…

Spoot: Thank you again chickah! I hope this was up to your standards!


End file.
